Rick Perry: his collar doesn't fit him. It's too tight, or maybe it's too high. But it looks like it's choking him, and that's why he smiles nervously - he's afraid he might have to clear his throat, at which point all hell will break loose. It's distracting, which is a good thing, because once he starts talking, he does so poorly that all I can think is "you really thought everyone would step aside for you, didn't you."
Ron Paul: Cranky and (to quote my late step-grandfather,) "NUTS AS HELL."
Gary Johnson: It's about time you showed up. Why didn't you put more effort into getting to the 1 percent threshold earlier? It might have saved us from....
...Jon Huntsman: I think he doesn't really like us. Any of us. And he called his wife "an incredible human being" as though she'd created by some Cyborg company instead of, you know, the usual process.
Michele Bachmann: She looks like she's thinking of 50 ways to kill Rick Perry and get away with it.
Herman Cain: Please, please, if the Republicans win this election, give this man Secretary of Commerce. I don't think he will win the nomination, but this guy's a keeper, and hopefully will be with us a long time.
Newt Gingrich: You do understand, don't you, that you can make all the great debate points you want, you have no chance. The only thing we know for sure is that you will make multiple unforced errors that will overwhelm any intellect you have - and you do have it. But you can't be president.
Rick Santorum: I really like this guy. If he had just been governor of his state - even for one term - he'd be the front runner.
Which leaves us to:
Mitt Romney. A former boss used to say "slow and steady wins the race" and I think that's the phrase that sums up Mitt Romney and this campaign. I'm not a big fan, but as a proponent of the Buckley Rule.....he may end up being the guy. But he needs to deep-six the technocratic, 59 point, Power Point presentation way of speaking.